Most of the guys I end up being with are significantly younger than myself. I always wonder why I’m attracted to guys so much younger than me. Is it cause they’re young and fresh? Less experience=less issues? Maybe. Lately, I’ve been attracted to guys close to my age or older than myself. They don’t seem to work out either. I find that the older guys have more life experience and have more interesting things to talk about, but with that comes more issues and baggage. 21 year old dudes usually don’t have the issues at 35 year old man does. It’s hella annoying. I don’t want to say I don’t have issues, cause we all know I have plenty, but I don’t really have any baggage. I’ve never had a serious relationship to get baggage from. I don’t have some horrible ex I hate and can’t get over, I don’t have trust issues(even though I’m constantly lied to), and I fucking hate playing games. The more I think about it, maybe I do have trust issues, but only because I’ve caught ever single dude I’ve ever been with in lies. Example………..

Trader Joes dude. This guy has asked for my number three times and has invited me to a bbq and totally flaked on me. I gave up. I’m like eh, whatever. I asked him, “Do you have a girlfriend? If you do, that’s cool, but I just want to make sure she’s down with you hanging out with another chick mono y mono.” He’s like, “Na, I don’t have a girlfriend, I’m not into relationships, too much drama.” I’m like, “Yeah, I feel you.” Fast forward to a few months later. Homeboy asks for my number one last time. Two days later I get a phone call at 12:30am from some number I’ve never seen. I text the number back with a “?”. Turns out It’s homeboy’s girlfriend. She found my number in the pocket of his pants. I totally covered it up so she wouldn’t freak out more than she already had. I felt bad for the girl. I didn’t know, and now that I do know, homeboy is the dickwad. Let his girlfriend find out on her own, she will eventually. So needless to say, I make sure I go to Trader Joes when homeboy isn’t working, I’m not in the mood to deal with him. Although, it would be a hoot to say, “Hey dude, Karina says hi!”

I met this dude at some punk rock art party last weekend. I will change his name to protect the innocent. Let’s call him, “George.” George is a normal looking white boy that doesn’t really stand out from the crowd. Not my type of guy at all. We were in a group of mutual friends and we just started chatting it up. Conversation flowed quite easily and it was very refreshing. We ended up talking the whole night. I was already developing feelings towards this dude cause he was so nice, so smart, so easy to talk to, laughed at my jokes, and was into yoga! Not the type of guy I was expecting to meet at a punk rock art show. We were flirty and I just felt like this is the kind of guy I can certainly be more than friends with. We exchanged numbers and were texting each other right away. As we were exchanging texts, I was getting the vibe this guy likes to party a bit too much. Who am I to judge? I’m a total fucking stoner, I smoke pot from the time I wake up until I go to bed. George liked to party another way. He liked to drink and do blow. I suggested we hang out, smoke pot, have some cider, and take a quaalude or something. Sitting around and doing lines isn’t my definition of a party. I could overlook his partying ways, but we all know that’s not a good place to be in. He came over late Tuesday night after he was out partying and ended up spending the night. It was quite nice. It’s been far too long since I’ve had a man sleep over! We kept it totally g-rated. We just snuggled the whole night and it was cool. Of course me, being the perv I am, wanted a whole lot more, but he said he wanted to take it slow. He has trust issues and several of his own issues to deal with. I’m not gonna rush him, I totally respect that. We exchanged more texts throughout the next few days and he came over again Friday after work. He does set building/design and does a lot of physical labor type stuff. He told me how nice it is to come over, hang out with me and my friends, eat good food, and just chill out. I’d go into greater detail about other things we’ve discussed, but It’s not really necessary. Let’s just say he’s a good guy, but L.A seems to be slowly swallowing him up. He’s a sweet hippy boy from Colorado. He has a degree from Yale. This guy can’t be all that fucked up, right? I thought I had trust issues, he takes the cake. I know I’ll eventually gain his trust, I have no reason not to. I’ve been straight up with him from the start and my actions clearly show that. He ended up spending the night again and that was cool. Of course, all we did was snuggle. I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but if this keeps happening, It’ll be stopping. I mean at least make out with me! I’m starting to feel this guy is using me. Does he have mommy issues or something? I don’t mind taking care of my friends, but let’s face it, the friend bus is full. I don’t mind taking care of someone that I’m intimate with, but if he’s not gonna be that guy, adios dude. He’s away in Palm Springs for the week working on Americas Next Top Model. We’ll see what happens when he gets back. Let him come to me. Like he said, ‘It’s all about boundaries.” Sure dude, I totally get it. To be honest, I don’t think I’m going to go anywhere with this guy and It’s such a shame. It’s the first guy in a long time I’ve had an awesome connection with. I know he feels it too, but I think his hang ups are going to get the best of him. I know he has issues with my weight. His loss. You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t. Sometimes I think all my guy trouble is what fuels my drive to be a sex therapist. Maybe It’s a sign from the universe saying that once you find a nice guy and live happily ever after, why be a sex therapist? What drive will you have after you are settled and comfortable?

For instance, her friends think I’m some wild and crazy deviant that doesn’t do shit with my life. They think because I don’t express my sadness, I don’t care about my moms death. They’re fucking wrong. I think to myself, does anyone else think about it EVERY SINGLE DAY? There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my mom not being around anymore. At the most inopportune times images flash in my head of getting the phone call from Sherri, driving to the hospital, seeing my mom convulsing as I’m trying to say my last goodbyes to her, or seeing her dead body in the casket at the funeral. These images flash in my head EVERY FUCKING DAY. Just because I don’t call my mothers friends to tell them how much it bums me out doesn’t mean I don’t care or think about it. People are giving me shit because I haven’t gone to the gravesite since the funeral. FUCK YOU! I’m not ready. I also thought that I had to wait until the unveiling to visit the gravesite. Apparently I’m wrong. Why did I have to do that with all my other dead relatives? I finally made the call to the cemetery to pick out the headstone and stuff. Everyone is very nice, but It’s just hard for me to do. It was hard to pick out the casket and pick out the clothes they were going to dress her in. I did it. It wasn’t easy, but the fact of the matter is, I did it. I knew that I would have to do this someday and I guess now is as good a time as any. So many times I’m laying there at yoga and images will pop into my head of my mom right before she died. Why the fuck are my last memories of my deceased family members always so gruesome? The last images I have of my grandma is her at the hospital and smelling the death come from her mouth. It was disgusting and very very sad. The last image of my mom is her all bloated and shaking uncontrollably. They doctors and nurses said she can’t talk, but she can still hear. I guess I believed that. I mean the second I came in and touched her head as I whispered in her ear, she started shaking even more. Was it the drugs, or could she hear me? I’ll never know. To keep my sanity I like to believe she heard me. I just let her know that I loved her, I’ll always love her, she won’t have to worry about me anymore, and I’ll be fine.

It was absolute torture until they finally pulled the plug. I didn’t think I’d ever be put into that situation, but luckily I asked my mom what she wanted back when my parents got divorced. I figured since we were all each of us had, it was important to know our last wishes and what we’d want if we ended up in a vegetative state. I don’t think my mom was ever in a vegetative state. I think she was dead when the paramedics got to the house and revived her. She never really recovered. Her brain went too long without oxygen. She was slowly shutting down from the second she got to the hospital. I asked the doctors if I was fucked up for thinking she was already dead, they said no. Every time we got an update from a doctor, it wasn’t good. Kidney failure, liver failure, losing brain activity. The only thing keeping her alive were drugs and a machine. She wanted me to pull the plug. Her friends were holding onto hope. The doctor said if she did make it out of this, she’d never talk or walk again. I said, PULL THE FUCKING PLUG!! My mom would not want to live if that’s how it was going to be. Neither would I. We were both very clear about it to each other. People think that because my mom and I didn’t hang out all the time, we weren’t close. We talked a lot and we were close. It bums me out she’s dead because she told me all the juicy gossip about her friends. I knew everyone’s dirty business!! I loved it! Of course I’m bummed for more reasons than that, but now when her friends give me shit, I can’t come back at them with their private business and drama, hahaa! RIP mom, I wonder if there really is a heaven? If there is, I know you’re there.

I had no fucking clue what was going to happen next. I figured someone was ripping apart my car, going through everything with a fine toothed comb and seeing what else they could find. Sure enough I was right! The one white dude there was the dude checking my car. I thought I had given them all of my weed, but I was wrong. He found another bottle in my backpack. I thought I was going to get in more trouble for that, but they just added it to the pile. They asked me if I had ever been arrested. I answered, “Nope!” But I was thinking to myself, “Not in this country!” I figured why tell them about New Zealand. I already told them enough. I was showing one guy how the grinder worked and how the vaporizer worked. I also told them that they can call marijuana, and ethnobotanical herb. Sounds fancy, right? They were all quite nice to me and appreciated the fact I was honest with them. I’m like, “Yeah dude, you’re gonna find out the truth whether I tell it to you or not, so I might as well make it easy on ya.” They ran my record, it was clear. They acted very surprised. Sure, I look like a total fucking deviant, but I’m not the one you need to worry about. They also asked if I was affiliated with any gangs. I’m like, “Uh, the nerd gang?” I was trying to act all cool like I didn’t care what happened, but I was paying very close attention to what they were saying to each other and over the phone. Basically the supervisor wanted to make an example out of me, but all the other guys were like, “Man, she’s honest, it’s her personal stash, she has her card, and she’s just camping, let her go.” I guess they compromised. They let me throw my vaporizer, grinder, and pipes away. They got me with 15 grams of pot and 3 grams of hash. I didn’t get a ticket, I didn’t get arrested, and my car wasn’t seized. They just said that I’m, “In the system now.” What the fuck does that mean? Will I have trouble now when I come back into the country after galavanting around Europe this summer? Will it be harder to get back into New Zealand? I have no fucking clue, but I think It’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be. I mean if it was bad, I’d be in jail or out on bail right now.

That whole situation really made me glad to be a girl. Sure, society doesn’t label me as good looking, but I know what’s up. I work what I have. It certainly worked in my favor this past Sunday. I wasn’t being a flirt or anything, but these border patrol dudes don’t see a girl like me or Karina very often, if at all. We’re confident, funny, smart, creative, and sexy bitches!!! They asked us nicely if we were lesbians. We said no, but Karina later told me she would makeout with me in front of them if that meant getting the pot back, HAAHHAA!!! I’m not too broken up about it. I mean it could’ve been a lot more drama. I lost 15 grams of weed, 3 grams of hash, a grinder, and an old vaporizer. That’s about $500, MUCH cheaper than getting arrested.:) What really made me laugh on the inside is when I was being escorted outside to go throw my things away, the officer handling my paperwork asked me, “What’s up? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I’m like, “Eh, let’s be real. Guys in LA can’t handle a confident woman, especially a fat one.” He’s like, “Don’t say that!” I’m like, “Yo! It’s true. I’m not all butt hurt about it, I get mine, but for the most part, guys aren’t feelin’ it and I’m too happy with myself to change for them.” He’s like, “Oh, that’s cool. How far do you live from Indio? How do you feel about long distance relationships?” I’m like, “Oh, ha ha! You’re such a charmer!” He’s like, “Ha, ha, I’m kidding. I have a gf.” Whatever dude. You couldn’t handle this!!!! If I was a dude, there is NO way I’d be a free man right now. I was really glad I had boobs that day.

Aiight, off to yoga with Brooke!

The start of my spring break was fantastic. I headed to the desert with Karina and the gang on Friday afternoon. The weather was perfect. It didn’t stink like dead fish and sulphur. The sunset was amazing and I got a lot of great pictures. I’d never been to the Salton Sea before. This was the third year the “Salton Sea crew” went there and made art and had a fun camping time. I must say, Mecca Beach was the nicest campsite I’d ever stayed at. Solar powered showers, b’oh!! They even had electrical outlets in the bathrooms so I could setup my vaporizer there at night, wha what!?!?!? In front of us was the vast Salton Sea and behind us was the San Andreas Fault. I love all that geology stuff and It’s convenient that I’m taking Geology in school right now. Being there made me want to study geology more, so many things going on there. We went to the mud volcanoes, abandoned buildings, trailer parks, and even an abandoned goat farm! It didn’t get above 84 degrees even though it sure seemed that way. I kept saying to myself, “This is fucking amazing. I’m having such a blast. I’m in a beautiful place, with wonderful friends, observing such amazing sights……………”

Let me give you a little background about the area we were at. We were off of Highway 111. We were about 50-60 miles away from the Mexico border. We had to pass a border inspection station twice. Once on Saturday coming back to our campsite and once again on Sunday after coming back from Slab City. I didn’t mind going through on Saturday, but on Sunday I just didn’t feel like doing it again, but I did anyway. We packed up all our things and left the campsite. We headed to Slab City, I took a nap, and the others wandered around for a bit and took pictures. We got on the 111 and were making our way back home. We were approaching the border inspection and I didn’t really worry about anything, I mean, we were fine yesterday. Daniel got through and he was on his way. We approached and the guy was really nice. He asked us some general questions and we answered them. He saw all the crap in the backseat of the car and asked if I could open the trunk. Of course, no problem. I mean I’d ask the same thing if I saw how much crap was piled in the backseat. I pop the trunk, he opens it, comes back about 2 seconds later, and says, “It smells.” I’m like, “Oh yeah dude! I have a bunch of weed back there, and up here! Let me give it to you. I have my medical marijuana license.” He’s like, “Ma’am, this is a federal border control, we don’t recognize your card.” I’m like, “Oh shit!!! Duh!!! You’re right! I didn’t even fucking think of that! I’m such an idiot!” He’s like, “How much weed do you have?” I’m like, “Hmm, under half an ounce for sure.” He’s like, “Okay, step out of the car, give me everything you have.” So I give him my vaporizer, grinder, hash, and two jars of weed. Meanwhile there are like 3 other officers there. Karina and I are trippin’ out on the inside, but I know the routine, I was calm, cool, and collected. I had just discussed this very thing with Karina days before. i said, “Whenever I have a run in with the law, I just tell the fucking truth. I mean why hide what they’re going to find anyway? Don’t make their job any harder than it already is.” So we’re escorted inside to the lobby and I’ll continue the story later because I’m about to go swimming.:) To be continued…………..

Okay, so I’m taking this fucking English 103 class cause I HAVE to take it to go to Cal State LA. I guess that’s good. I am going to be one hell of a critical thinking writer by the end of the semester. The thing I’m going to be most critical of is my professor! Oy vey! I don’t want to say I hate him, but he’s so ass backwards! He loves to hear himself talk. I enjoy discussing things with him, but It’s also frustrating. Example, we had to write a one page explanation of a few different stories we had to read. We managed to discuss the three different choices we had, but he didn’t pass back our papers until afterwards. He talked about the rough drafts to our first essay and wanted to pass back our rough drafts after the discussion. Uh, what the fuck? I made sure that didn’t happen. I’m like, “Excuse me professor, why don’t you pass back our rough drafts with your comments now, so then we can ask you questions?” He’s like, “If I pass them back now, do you promise not to leave!?!?!?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah dude, we promise not to leave, especially because It’s 30 min. before the end of class.” I’m assuming he’s had bad experiences before with people getting papers back and just taking off. Even if that does happen, who fucking cares, that’s on them. They make their grade, let them leave and fail. He also likes to keep us after class. He thinks It’s justified because people show up late and he has to back track. That’s not really fucking fair now, is it? What about people like me that show up 5 min. early? Can I leave 5 min. early? I want to tell him that It’s his responsibility as the professor to penalize late comers by not having to do so to the people that show up on time. Don’t back track, It’s their own fault for coming late. Maybe they were late because they had a moron professor like him that let the students out late as well. See how that works? Class goes until a certain time and classes start at certain times. My psych class gets out at noon, my geology class started at 12:10. If I was let out late in psych, I’d be late to geology. It takes about 10 min. to get from one side of the campus to the other, and maybe get in a pee break if you’re lucky. Unlike my professor, I have 5 classes at LACC, he has one. Okay, enough of my rant about him.

I got so pissed off at my English professor I decided to hunt down my FAVORITE English professor and quite possibly my favorite professor of all time. It’s between her and David Sedghi. They both have inspired me in different, but equally important ways. Kate Gale. *sigh* I love her. She wasn’t hard to find thanks to the internet. I hit her up last night and she already responded to me! I need to get out to Pasadena and reconnect with her. She offered me an internship at her publishing company. I’m totally going to take her up on it. She also thinks I should be a writer. That isn’t the first time I’ve been told that. i would love to be a writer. A writer and a sex therapist. That sounds like the perfect life for me! As depressed as English 103 is making, getting back in contact with Kate made me 100% better. I love how life works. Everyday is a new and most of the time exciting adventure.

IT’S ALMOST SPRING BREAK, WOOOOOOOOOO!!!! In less than 24 hours I’ll be free for over a week!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!! My girl Brooke is coming out to stay with me for a few nights next week. I’m excited to see her. She always has great adventures to talk about. My dad is coming to visit too. That should be interesting. I’m excited to see him, but I’m also a bit scared. I just have this feeling my dad is gonna drop some deep, heavy shit on me. It’s not like It’ll be the first time, that’s why I expect it. Who knows. I hope I don’t get roped into any family events. I wanna kick it with him, but I don’t need to see my Uncle and the rest of the Kuklin klan. Maybe I’ll go to the cemetery with him and pick out my moms gravestone and stuff. Who knows if he’ll even wanna do that. All I know is that I gotta get it done and next week is the only time I can get out to Simi to do it.

Aiight, I’m gonna go vape.

I’m so happy!!! I have seen this HOT skater dude at school for awhile now, but I never had the balls to just go up to him and chat it up. Tommy offered to do it, but I told him timing is everything. Sure enough I was right!!! Hot skater dude is in my English class! He’s sooooooooooooo nice and fucking HOTTTTTT!!! He’s such a ham, I love it. Typical Leo, I sure know how to pick them. Blake, my first hot skater dude is a Leo, roar! Scottie is the hottest skater dude yet!! You know what’s even hotter? He’s super, mega, ultra smart!! I don’t get it. A hot skater dude that likes to party, is totally tatted up and sexy, and is an honor student. Yes please! So like after class today Scottie went home with me to vaporize and chill and we ran into another hot skater dude friend of his, Osiris. He’s not as hot as Scottie, but he’ll do! He’s really funny but almost fucked my shit up! I don’t wanna get into details, but let’s just say my laundry bag is the only thing that protected my shins from getting a skateboard shot right into them. It would’ve been messy otherwise. Before we ran into Osiris I ran into Nolan, the hot skater dude that came over to my pad and busted out his dance routine. He’s even hotter than he was last time and he’s itchin’ to take some pics!! I wanna shoot Scottie this weekend, I hope it works out. I also saw Ozzy yesterday!!! He sure wasn’t looking like a hot skater dude! He was all Lance Armstrong’d out! Biker gear and everything! I’m like, uhhhh, wtf? He looked at me and just started laughing. I’m surprised he’s not all hipstered out on a fixed gear. Maybe he is when he’s not dressed like Lance Armstrong. Live strong. Speaking of live strong, Grandpa works for Lance Armstrong’s energy drink. It’s aiight, I need to try more flavors if Grandpa thinks I’m gonna help push the product for him. Smart water, that was easy. Vita coco, piece of cake. This FRS stuff, or whatever it’s called, ehhhh, we’ll see.

I’m so glad It’s Thursday night, weekend!! Wooooo!! Lot’s of homework to do! I have so much reading I don’t even know where to begin.

I was getting my nails done today and there were these two blonde bitch types next to me. I kid you not, it was like watching an episode of, “The Hills.” Barf me out. I mean they had that annoying voice and everything, I wanted to punch them so bad.

School has started once again, and so far, so good. Perhaps I say this because I’ve only gone for four days, and now I have five days off, yay! It’s nice not to tutor this semester. I can focus on my crap. It’s my last semester at LACC and my goal is to get all A’s. I believe I can do this simply because I don’t have anymore math classes to take!!! I have tons of reading to do this semester, but I’d rather do that than math!!!

I just got back from Europe a few weeks ago. I had a total blast! I met up with old mates and met new ones! It was fucking cold there. I will NEVER complain about the weather in LA. My face was so fucked up. Dry, cracked, raw, chapped. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been back for two weeks and It’s barely starting to heal. I knew a few yogas and some spin classes would help out. It also helps that’s it’s 75 degrees outside.:) I’d never experienced cold like that before. The average in Berlin was about 15 degrees. The last day there, it was 3 degrees. I did bikram in Berlin! It was great! I got my friend Ricardo to go, he’s hooked! I took the class in German and I didn’t understand a thing, but since I know the practice, I didn’t have a problem. I love that they had hardwood floors there, no smell!! They’d wash the floor down between each class, smart!

I have to say, this last trip to Amsterdam was my absolute favorite!!! I met up with Jen, Bathews, Seth, and John. I finally found awesome coffee shops that weren’t all touristy. The Dampkring and Barneys. I can’t even remember how many joints I smoked. John rolls the best cones! I brought a few vaporizers with me and they were loved by all. They have volcanos all over Amsterdam, but I looooooove my vaporbrothers!!!!! It was such an awesome experience to have my vaporizer with me in Europe. John is such an amazing tour guide. I don’t know what I’d do without him!

London was a blast. I met up with Angel and we kicked it at Seths for a few days. It was Angels first time in Europe, he was in France four days before we met up at some music thing he spoke at. Lucky bitch! Free trip to Europe! The weather was great there! It was pretty warm at 43 degrees! I finally went to Fabric. Eh, I wasn’t that impressed. Maybe I would’ve been 10 years ago. I met this AWESOME dude, Tom Player through one of Seths work buddies, Tom. We were all at the pub one night and I was chatting up these dudes and one of them asked me what kind of music I like. I said, “I’m a drum n’ bass whore!” His eyes lit up and he ended up being a drum n’ bass whore too! We instantly became bff’s! Tom joined us at Fabric and him and Seth tore it up all night! Angel and I are old and lame, so we bailed at 3am’ish. Angel and I did some record shopping at Rough Trade. I found some Morrissey singles, that was sweet! We were walking down Brick Lane on Saturday afternoon and I met this rad guy Colin, who sells records. I found Hatful of Hollow, yay! Thanks Colin!! Angel and I left on the same flight, it’s nice flying home with your buddy. We sat next to this rad chick that lived in Los Feliz, she’s a civil rights attorney, and she’s Egyptian, and she blazes! My kinda gal! I can’t wait til my next trip to Europa, I’m gonna hit up Paris, Amsterdam, Cologne, Berlin, London, Madrid, and Barcelona.:) Aye!

I see the last time I posted was back in May. Geeeez! Soooooo much has happened. The summer was great. I worked out a lot, hung out with friends, got tattoo’d, and chilled the fuck out. My mom passed away at the end of the summer. It was a trip. It happened so suddenly, I didn’t really have time to take it all in until recently. I have a whole bunch of new responsibilities now. Also, this has been the first semester I’ve gone to school full time. I also got a job at school as a psychology tutor. Tonight starts my finals. I’m REALLY scared about art history because I TOTALLY fucked up and copied my paper from a friend. I only changed about 10% of the paper. All my friends think I won’t get caught, but I seriously think I’m done for. I asked the professor I work for, what’s the worst thing that could happen? He said I’ll fail the class. I can live with that. I was scared I might get kicked out of school. If I don’t get caught, I only have to take 14 units next semester. If I fail art history, I have to take 17 units next semester, oy. I’m sorta trippin’ on statistics, but not really. The professor said I would pass, simply because I showed up to every class and I didn’t fail horribly bad on the tests. I’ll believe it when I see it. Tomorrow night is that final. Anthropology is tomorrow morning. I got a B on the midterm, so if I can score another B on the final, I’ll be solid. I’d like to get an A, but I’ll certainly take a B. My health final, what a joke. That’s the last one scheduled for Thursday. I could go into that final drunk off my ass and trippin’ on acid and I’d still get an A, ha! I can’t fucking WAIT for this semester to be over!!!!

I barely blog. I’m so lazy. I said I was going to blog everyday, that obviously never happened. I wanna say there’s nothing new and exciting, but that’s not the case. The closer I come to transferring to CSUN, the less motivated I become. I dropped my Biology class and I’m barely passing my math class. COME ON HEATHER, GET WITH THE PROGRAM! I decided to take the summer off. I always said I’m not in a rush. I should just chill out and not go year round. I haven’t had a summer off in two years. I’m planning on going to Australia in August, but I’m not sure how my financial situation will be over the summer. I’ll have a free place to stay in Melbourne and I can technically buy my ticket now, but being out of town for over 2 weeks puts a damper on business.

I went to Seattle last weekend. That was awesome. I’ve always wanted to go to Seattle. Everyone I know that’s from up there tells me I’d love it. They were right! I met up with my old childhood friend Mike. It was interesting, to say the least. I don’t wanna get into details, but let’s just say I will probably only contact Travis next time I’m up there. It was 80 degrees the whole time I was there. It cooled down at night, just like it has been here in L.A. The air is so freakin’ clean. The sun is quite penetrating when there isn’t any smog in the way. Seattle TOTALLY reminded me of Auckland. Like it was weird. I felt like I WAS in Auckland, but no one had an accent. Mike said the people were weird up there. Maybe to him, they’re weird, but everyone was totally friendly and nice. You get back the energy you give off, right?:) Travis told me about this AMAZING vegan/wheat/gluten free bakery up there. Let me tell you, gluten free shit is fucking dense!!! Jeeeeeez! I bought a small loaf of their signature bread, and it weighed about 6 pounds. I got some maple walnut scone from the spot, DELISH!!!!!! It’s probably a good thing they don’t do much mail order stuff. At least I have my girl Danielle, she’s local and makes amazing gluten free shit. She brought me some gluten free carrot cake yesterday, WOW!!!! That dyke can fucking bake!! Love her!

I went to Vegas a few weeks ago. That was good fun! I was there with Smithy and Laura and we met up with more of my English mates. I don’t get it. Chris treats me SOOOOOOOOO good and I don’t even have to put out. I mean he’s like a sugar daddy without the creepy sex part. Don’t get me wrong, Chris is FUCKING HOT, but there’s no sexual attraction between us. He’s just always been really nice and really generous to me. He’s the English version of Edwin. I’m not complaining, it just trips me out. I lost Chris’ money at the Bellagio so I said, fuck that, It’s time for the Hard Rock! We gambled there for a few hours. That was a blast! I haven’t been to the Hard Rock to gamble in years! I looooooooove to gamble, but just there. I’m a craps girl, but I was feelin’ roulette that night. I kept meaning to meander along the strip and look for those 4 foot long margaritas. I’m going to Vegas in a few weeks, you KNOW I’m gonna find it this time!! Extreme yermo!!!!!

That’s all for now.:)

I don’t get it. Maybe I really am a disgusting fat ugly slob? I don’t know. I’m at Disneyland yesterday for Shawns bday and I see loads of hot ass dudes with fat chicks. I think to myself, “WHAT’S MY PROBLEM!?!?!” Why can’t I have a rad hot boyfriend?!!? Jeeeeez!! Everyone likes to say, “Oh Heather, there are guys out there that like big girls.” Yeah!! Too bad they aren’t cute, hairy, stoner, dudes in Silver Lake!!!! Do I have to move to the midwest to find a hot guy that likes fat chicks? Throw me a freakin’ bone here people! We’ll see, maybe if I see “M. Cesar” again, he’ll try to find out if I’m single or not.;)

BTW, I love Disneyland! It’s fake as fuck, but It’s fun! I love roller coasters! The matterhorn at night is the shizzznit! The left side is way faster than the right, just so ya know next time you’re there. The submarines are pretty rad now too. It’s a Finding Nemo theme. I LOVE Finding Nemo! The sea turtle kid is adorable!! I finally went to the Blue Bayou restaurant. It’s the one inside Butt Pirates of the Carribean. I’ve wanted to go there since I was a kid, even though it always smelled like ordinary cafeteria food. I was so wrong! It’s pretty fancy and the food was good, and it was anything but cheap! Oh well, I don’t get to do that too often, so you might as well do it up right!

Vegas weekend, woooooooooo!! Extreeeeeeeeme road trip!!!!!!